Creative ways to manage loneliness during the holiday season
by Elaine Book
Globally, there is an epidemic of loneliness. It has become a feature of modern life and there are warnings of the mental and physical dangers of loneliness. The physical consequences of poor connection can be devastating, including a 29% increased risk of heart disease, a 32% increased risk of stroke, and a 50% increased risk of developing dementia for older adults. Lacking connection can increase the risk of premature death to levels comparable to smoking 15 cigarettes a day!
We also know that you can feel lonely even if you have a lot of people around you because loneliness is about the quality of your connections. The World Health Organization's definitions help understand the issue:
Loneliness…is the pain we feel when our social connections do not meet our needs.
Social isolation is the state of having a smaller number of social contacts, which may contribute to loneliness.
The good news is that the risk of social isolation is potentially modifiable! Social connection is beneficial for individual health and also improves the resilience of our communities. People crave connections and reciprocal connections. According to Jake Ernst, a social worker and clinical director of Straight Up Health in Toronto, “It is about returning to our innate core needs. As humans, we are a social species, which means that we need each other in order to be well.”
Here are a few ideas to lessen the feelings of loneliness over the holiday season and beyond!
Look for community events to join… simply google “things to do in ….Richmond, Delta or wherever you live
Check out the Georgia Straight https://www.straight.com/listings/events
See if your local library hosts events regularly that are free
Feeling good by doing good, consider volunteering! Doing something for someone else can be very impactful. Try to Google “community events volunteer” and indicate your area!
Recognize the power of a pause in your day to focus on joy or gratitude. Try being intentional about your pause. For example, on the hour, every hour, stop for a gratitude pause. Gratitudes can be small and simple like you enjoyed a cup of tea, the colours of the leaves, or a cute dog that walked by. Or try a mindful moment, there are many meditation apps available for free, here is one: https://www.mindful.org/free-mindfulness-apps-worthy-of-your-attention/
Think about joining a group activity like singing in a choir or dance class which gives you both exercise and social interaction!
Check out Beyond the Conversation, a grassroots organization with the aim of addressing social connection needs https://beyondtheconversation.org/
Create micro-moments of connection. An easy way to find connections in everyday life is by interacting in small ways with acquaintances or strangers you encounter. So next time you grab a cup of coffee, or see your neighbor on a walk, or pay for your groceries, strike up a conversation!
Express appreciation to others for offerings large and small and consider paying it forward by offering a helping hand with a random act of kindness like holding a door open or buying a warm drink for someone in need.
Strengthen existing relationships. You probably already have people in your life that you could get to know better or connections with family that could be deepened. If so, why not call friends more often, go out with them more, and find other ways to enjoy your existing relationships and strengthen bonds?
Write letters to family and friends and enclose an addressed and postage-paid envelope with a piece of paper in it so they will write back! Retro-style connections!
Spend time in public places like libraries, coffee shops, community centres
Simply take a walk around your neighbourhood, you are sure to bump into someone!
Think about when you tend to feel lonely. Is it first thing in the morning or perhaps at meal times? Then consider some of the suggestions above to combat those experiences of loneliness or think about ones that might work best for you.
Be open to inviting people into your day, building a person-centered life and creating a chosen family. It takes courage to be vulnerable and to put yourself out there. Remember… your gesture of an unanticipated random act of kindness will likely benefit you as the giver and the receiver!
Stay tuned for opportunities to engage in BWP loneliness advocacy initiatives in 2024!
References and quick reads:
https://globalnews.ca/news/9684469/loneliness-crisis-canada-covid/
https://bc.cmha.ca/documents/coping-with-loneliness/
If you want to learn more, here are some books to consider which are also available free as audiobooks with the public library system:
https://www.vivekmurthy.com/together-book
https://www.priyaparker.com/book-art-of-gathering
