Friendships and Intimacy
By Anna Nuechterlein
When we think of “intimacy”, we typically envision romantic relationships and physical affection. But what about intimacy within friendships – the emotional, mental, or spiritual closeness we feel with our nearest and dearest pals? The importance of adult friendships is often eclipsed by romantic partnerships, yet some of the very same neuroscientific mechanisms are at play in both forms of connection. Research suggests that oxytocin – the powerful “bonding” hormone released when romantic partners share physical intimacy – also plays a critical role in fuelling positive social interactions and fostering connections between friends.
We have all experienced the benefits of intimate friendships – the rush of relief when we confide in someone, the comfort we feel in a much-needed hug, and the collective joy we experience when our close friends succeed. Friendships are important for mental, emotional, and physical health and wellbeing: studies have shown that adults with strong social connections are at a reduced risk for high blood pressure and depression, and may even have longer lifespans. Encounters with friends and other social partners reduces stress and increases positive mood throughout the day for older adults. Despite these and other benefits, opportunities for older adults to maintain and foster deep and meaningful social connections are not always seemingly accessible. Yet there are many avenues to create new social networks and nurture “friendship intimacy” – it may just take some creativity and intentionality!
Here are four ideas to get you started:
1. Intergenerational friendships: Investing in intergenerational friendships is a rewarding way to build valuable connections, learn new things, and share meaningful stories and life lessons. The BWP program offers projects to support both intergenerational storytelling and conversations (for more information, email: elaine.book@vch.ca).
2. Volunteering: There are always new and exciting opportunities to volunteer, for example at the Vancouver Art Gallery or the BC Wildlife Rescue Association. This can be a way to meet like-minded people, connect on a deeper level over shared interests, as well as develop personal passions – from the arts to animal activism. Check out Volunteer Vancouver or Go Volunteer.
3. Maintaining friendships: Sometimes, reigniting past friendships simply looks like an email exchange, a phone call, or an invite to meet for coffee. Don’t be afraid to take initiative and reach out first!
4. Connecting with the community: Community-based organizations like Kits House lead events and programs available to people of all ages in the Vancouver area. These include community potlucks, book clubs, and weekly gatherings to foster social connections, especially among older adults. And, of course, the online community with the BC Brain Wellness Program provides the opportunity for many kinds of connections.
With Valentine’s Day around the corner, click here for more information on how friendships can enrich your life and improve your health.
