Loneliness: What You Should Know
by Guntas Kaur and Vicky Nguyen
In a world more connected than ever before, loneliness remains a silent epidemic, affecting people across all demographics. It's a paradox of our times - the era of social media and constant digital communication has not reduced loneliness; rather, it has grown into an often overlooked problem. As we dive into the complexities of loneliness and social isolation, it becomes important to raise awareness and empower individuals to recognize and address these feelings, fostering a community of support and understanding.
Loneliness is not merely the absence of social contact; it's a sense of disconnection, a feeling of being misunderstood or unseen even in a crowd. According to the American Psychological Association, loneliness is the cognitive discomfort or uneasiness from being or perceiving oneself to be alone or otherwise solitary. It can affect anyone, regardless of age, gender, or social status. From the elderly living alone to teenagers lost in the digital void, loneliness permeates every corner of society, silently eroding mental and emotional well-being.
It can be easy to feel that loneliness has faded into oblivion. However, it is more common than you think in the general population, especially for seniors. According to Statistics Canada, almost one in five (19%) seniors aged 65 and above reported experiencing loneliness in 2019 and 2020, with senior women more likely to report loneliness than senior men. Since the COVID-19 pandemic, where social distancing was prevalent due to health restrictions, seniors have become more vulnerable to social isolation.
Causes of loneliness can range from changes in life circumstances to no or infrequent connections with families and friends. As loneliness can have long-lasting detrimental effects on physical, mental, and social well-being, it is important to detect its signs early on to prevent serious complications. Although we can feel lonely sometimes, frequently experiencing loneliness that is challenging to shake off can be a sign of chronic loneliness.
If you or someone you know are experiencing any one or more of these signs and symptoms listed below, it is never too late to reach out for or to offer help.
Signs of chronic loneliness
Some signs that you’re experiencing feelings of loneliness are:
You wish you had more friends.
You’re missing people and wish you had more people in your life.
You feel like no one understands you.
When you are lonely, you do not feel in tune with people, preventing you from making new connections.
You feel alone, even when you’re in a crowd.
The number of people that a person is around is not an indicator if they are happy and fulfilled. Even people who seem like social butterflies can suffer from symptoms of loneliness.
You don’t want to socialize.
This is tricky because one way of not feeling “lonely” is socializing, but loneliness makes you withdraw and not interact with people. One falls into the habit of not interacting and withdrawing from social interactions.
You feel down and stuck in your head.
Part of how we see ourselves is reflected by others, so with someone else acting as a mirror, that can influence how one feels about themselves.
Your body feels off
The evidence linking social connection to physical health is strong.
You’re spending more time on social media
People who use social media to connect with people over time feel less satisfied with their relationships. In one study that polled more than 1,000 adults across four countries, people who used social media for social connection were likelier to say they felt lonely than those who used it for other purposes, like avoiding boredom.
You notice your healthy habits slipping.
Researchers have found feeling lonely makes you want to buy things more than you might otherwise, do less exercise, and even make poor eating choices.
According to Healthline, some symptoms of loneliness can include:
Feelings of sadness and desperation when alone or even when surrounded by many people, which can include feeling drained when socializing with those you do not know well
Difficulty to focus
Feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness
Insomnia, interrupted sleep, or other sleep problems
Decreased appetite
Body aches and pains
Increased shopping
Increased frequency of getting sick
Risks of chronic loneliness
Despite its prevalence, some groups are more likely to experience loneliness than others.
Those who come from marginalized backgrounds can experience discrimination from their surroundings, which increases the risk of social isolation including those with substance abuse or those who identify as LGBTQ+. Many immigrants struggle with the language barrier when living in a new country, making it harder for them to connect with their communities.
What can you do for yourself and for others?
The stigma surrounding loneliness often prevents individuals from seeking help or even admitting to themselves that they are experiencing it. It's essential to debunk the myth that loneliness is a sign of weakness or failure. It's a human emotion, a natural response to the complex combination of social, psychological, and environmental factors. By normalizing conversations around loneliness, we create space for empathy and understanding, paving the way for meaningful connections.
With summer and good weather approaching, it is a good time to branch out, connect and reconnect. Here are some ideas to get you going:
Connect daily with people through in-person visits or phone calls or facetimes - even a simple gesture like sending a handwritten card can go a long way for the sender and the receiver.
Strike up a conversation with the barista at your local coffee shop or the cashier at the grocery store.
Say hello to the owner of a dog that you pass by on your walk.
If there is someone in an online or in-person class you attend that you feel a connection with, take the first step and suggest meeting outside of the class.
The receiver of your gesture will likely appreciate and benefit from the act of kindness and connection….and so will you!
Remember, loneliness does not mean weakness or a fault on your part. It is an important matter to be properly acknowledged and addressed. If you feel overwhelmed because of loneliness while experiencing health complications, consult a therapist, a medical professional or perhaps a member of your faith to receive support.
A solid support system (which does not have to be big) will ensure a feeling of connectedness, leading to improved mental and physical well-being in the long run.
If you would like to read more about work that is being done to address loneliness and social isolation, check out…
Global Compassion Coalition
https://www.globalcompassioncoalition.org/
Foundation for Social connection
https://www.social-connection.org/
Beyond the conversation…a local BC born organization
https://beyondtheconversation.org/
References
https://www.everydayhealth.com/depression-pictures/are-you-lonelier-than-you-realize.aspx
https://dictionary.apa.org/loneliness
https://www.statcan.gc.ca/o1/en/plus/4881-look-loneliness-among-seniors
https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/chronic-loneliness
